'Hi my name is Amanda, welcome to my blog. Here is a little bit about me. I am 19 almost 20. I was born in California and moved to Colorado when I was 8 years old. I have 2 brothers, Brandon is 22 and Tyler is 21. I also have a sister, her name is Stephanie and she is 24. I have an English Bulldog named Beauty. I love cake decorating and snowboarding. I have had both ankles reconstructed. I love all things Disney. I am not a writer and this will be my first blog so I am scared, but I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me.
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteYour blog is a great start I and I think your heading into the right direction with this one. It’s a touchy topic to some who are in relationships like this but, blogs like this one will help others come forward and control the situation. I find that the use of personal experience with this topic is a very strong perspective in your blog. One question that did arise when reading your intro was, do you think that the abuse goes both ways for women and men? Maybe this can help you with creating some other ideas around your topic. I do agree with you that most women who are in a abuse relationship fear the fact of coming forward and hide behind something that is unreal. You blog is a interesting topic and I find it very interesting. Keep going and dig deeper, I think this blog will be very helpful and can be a tool for others to not be so afraid.
Mong
I love this topic. My sister was in an abusive relationship for a long time with four kids and until recently, divorced him. I never understood it, and some days I still don't. I feel as though children, or family can tie people down to abusive relationships as well. In high school, my boyfriend cheated on me for 2 years, and I knew the only reason I stayed with him was because his family loved me more than my own. Or so I felt that way. Anyways, I truly enjoyed this intro, I do hope that you find good views on the men side as well. I noticed after saying, "every nine seconds a women is assaulted or beaten" you quickly added a statistic for male abuse cases as well. I think you're doing a great job exploring the topic and I can't wait to see what unravels as this blog continues!
ReplyDeleteHey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great topic to research and one that is becoming less and less of a "quiet epidemic." I believe and I also hope that this topic as well as sexual assault continues to become more talked about and preventable. I think you posed some great questions to research that will have plenty of controversial answers which will certainly be thought provoking. This topic made me think of the different cases in the NFL recently with Greg Hardy and Johnny Manziel since I am a big sports fan. My wife and I have had several discussions about how the NFL has handled these players and what is being done by them to help not only bring awareness to the situation, but to try and discourage it from happening. I don't think what they're doing is enough frankly, but they are taking some steps. They recently made a new rule where any college player that was charged with any kind of sexual assault, domestic violence, or weapons assault will not be allowed to attend any NFL function such as the combine or the draft which I found interesting. Maybe something you want to add in. A lot of people, after all, got after Ray Rice's wife for staying with him after that ordeal surfaced. One other thing I might question is the stigma about men being abused in relationships. I know it is much more common for women to be the victim, but it can happen the other way around, especially verbally, and it's important to try and view the scenario from different angles. Hope this helps!
Steve
This is a great start to your blog! I was immediately drawn into the blog. I really like how you put your own experience into the blog. One question I do have goes along with what Stephen said, but do you think that women married to professional sports players, mainly NFL superstars, stay in these relationships due to the fame and money that goes with their names? Or do you think that they stay because they still think their is hope? I do agree with the fact that more women are scared of expressing the fact that they are in an abusive relationship and it could be hard for them to leave or find help with the situation. This is a very interesting topic and I cannot wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog post I thought about the women I know who were involved in abusive relationships. I do agree that it is a "quiet epidemic" because a lot of the time, women who are involved in these types of relationships often do not make word of it until the relationship ended. One woman I know was, until just less than a year ago, married to a man who was abusive to her, and possibly to the rest of their immediate family. What is sad about it is that I, as well as my family and others that knew them percieved several things: that they were an adorable aging couple with no problems, that he was friendly, fun and kind to me and my youth group, and that their family did not have any problems. The truth is that his father was also abusive to him, and that no one suspected anything wrong, until he abruptly resigned from being in charge of my youth group. It is as you said, that "Though in plain sight, victims are often invisible, fearfully denying their situations and hiding behind the façade of a happy home", and everyone who knew this family believed that they were a happy family, especially when many of us had been to their house for gatherings over the years.
One thing that I am curious about is if you are also going to investigate child abuse, and if child abuse always causes a person to become an abuser later in life. I am looking forward to reading more of your blog posts!
Amanda, this is a very important topic that you have decided to bring up for discussion. You present a very thorough analysis of the situation with many questions that either stem from it or relate to it. These carry a great significance because a person who is in the middle of an abusive relationship is usually confused enough by what is happening to her not to be able to collect her reasoning to the level of asking the questions herself. As a result, the questions you verbalize may help someone find strength to take a step toward re-evaluating their options.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that the unfortunate effect of the society around not realizing what really happens within such a toxic situation is that, instead of support, the victims of abuse see their suffering invalidated and trivialized. With the amount of trauma they have already experienced, this setback makes them feel even more isolated and they often decide to withdraw from society to avoid further wounds.
I am sorry that you have experienced the destructive power of abusive relationship, but I am glad that you have decided to face it and educate yourself and others about the impact. You have already showed a great knowledge of the issue in your post and I am sure you will be expanding on it in the future posts, so I don’t really see much to be added to it at this moment. And, instead of questions, your post generated a couple of answers in my mind. However, since you are the author, I will share them as a list of concepts rather than the full elaboration: 1. abusers usually isolate their victims from their social network; 2. the victims often don’t know HOW they can leave; 3. the victims don’t think they will get the support needed for them to leave and/or they don’t have the strength to look for the resources (if such exist).
I am pretty confident that you already know that, but maybe these concepts will provide food for thought to other people who join in the discussion.
Hi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteAs everyone seems to have already said, and yes I am a little ate, you have a great topic for this blog. It is a very important discussion, and a very real question. It is such a real thing for women to stay with an abuser and no one really understands why, not even the woman herself. I think you bringing this, and researching it going to be amazing. I find your post interesting because it is such a touchy subject yet still so important. I would add however, how to leave an abuser because a lot women, and people in general don't really know how to begin a journey like that because they are so mentally and physically abused. I agree with everything you said, because I am so into this topic. I cannot wait to see where this goes, I am so excited for it.