“Male Victims of Domestic Violence”
Most people believe that only women are victims of domestic violence. However, that is not true men can be victims of domestic violence also. It is more common for us to hear about women being abused than a man. In this section of the blog we are going to look at male victims and hear some of their stories.In a conflicting survey taken by the CDC in 2010, it was found that forty percent of victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men, that number continues to grow today. There is an article called “Men: The Overlooked Victims of Domestic Violence.” It says that “Despite many findings that show almost equal amounts of abuse perpetrated against men and women, the media and government focus the most attention on the female victims of domestic violence. You can find that article and many others on domesticviolencestatistics.org. Often times men suffer physical abuse in silence and alone, because they are afraid that nobody will believe them or take them seriously. Some men who do try and get help are mocked and ridiculed. It is unlikely that people would tell a battered woman that getting beaten by her husband or significant other wasn’t a big deal. People often do not think twice about saying that to a battered man. Often times men are too embarrassed to admit to being abused. What society is telling us is a “real man” is expected to “Control” his wife or significant other. Aside from embarrassment, it may also make them feel that they are somehow less of man. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, abuse is never the victims fault, and it is never okay.
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteAnother great piece to the "puzzle!" While I myself can admit that it would be much easier for me to dismiss and/or be perplexed by a story of a man experiencing domestic abuse, in my case it stems from deeply seated cultural stereotypes, as well as more personal knowledge of the issues of abuse perpetrated by men. However, it is very easy for me to "flip the coin," so to speak, and imagine some ways in which females can be abusive.
In general, my belief is that under certain circumstances most of us has the capacity to slip into an abusive incident. When that happens, however, we really need to do a lot of soul-searching because although an incident does not make one an abuser, it may mark a triggering situation in a development of abusive tendencies.
Returning to your subject, though. The most powerful observation I made while reading the materials you have presented were the similarities in abusive behaviors of female abusers, as related either by the victims or the perpetrating women themselves. There is no difference in the amount of violence and the viciousness of acts between the male and the female perpetrators. Also the behavioral characteristics remain the same.
Taking the above into account, there is no reason not to believe that males may, too, be true victims of domestic abuse at the hand of their female partners. Their reasons to keep silent about these experiences may be culturally different but they don't negate the occurrences themselves.
I am glad that you've shed light on male victims of abuse as well. Too many victims of all abuse go unnoticed, especially for men. While I believe that it can be difficult for any victim of abuse to seek help, reading this post made me believe that men may have an even more difficult time seeking help. One statistic that you mentioned in your blog post said that about 40 percent of severe domestic violence victims are men and that the number is rising. The fact that it is rising makes me curious about whether or not it has anything to do with shifting gender roles in society as well as the growing power that women have been gaining over the last decades.In your opinion, do you believe that domestic violence against men has anything to do with the changing gender roles of our society? Also, are the statistics on male victims of domestic violence represented in just the United States, or are these rates consistent worldwide?
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Mitchell Ritter
Hi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI love love love this post, I really am glad you recognized that males are in abusive relationships too, I mean as not as common but it still is an issue just for the fact that no one should be in that situation. I can’t believe that statistics about men, your blog really has came along way and it is one of the better ones that I have read. Do men suffer more physical or mental abuse? I am very curious. Good Job!
Cristel Lemming
Hey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteIt looks like you read my comments from an earlier post! Glad to see you researched both sides. I figure it must be hard at first to see men as victims too considering you were a victim yourself. Often times it feels like you are in this alone but once you realize that it's not only affecting you or your sex, but that everyone is a potential victim, it can help form a platform from which to create change in society. I think it's shameful and sexist to see men (or women for that matter) ridiculed for standing up for themselves. The stigmas that exist against both are unbelievable sometimes but I hope that as people like you bring awareness to the subject, we can begin to change those stigmas and put them in the past where they belong. I agree with your post that anyone can be a victim. I first really learned this when I went through EMT school and I had to learn about elderly abuse. It was one that I hadn't really thought of before but something that is actually quite common, especially neglect. It can be a real problem and there are many older proud men who wouldn't dare claim they are being abused even though they desperately need help. I really liked the question Mitchell asked about the changing gender roles and whether that affects abusive relationships. Might be something interesting to include in a future post.
Steve
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting post. I would have never even thought about men suffering from domestic violence. My initial thought when i hear domestic violence is women being abused. You stated that 40% of victims are men and that it is only increasing. What do you think the reason behind this is. It is great that you acknowledged the other side of this issue as well. It is something you do not hear about often.